HEAR ME ROAR!!!

It has been a hectic start of the year. I have been working almost all the weekends in 2006. It’s good in away because it makes me feel wanted, that they need your service and no one else will do, they need you even on weekends. Nevertheless it is very taxing, to my brain and body! I am so tired but I keep on telling myself that I am strong and I can do this but sometimes, my heart screams in silent and I get frustrated with the systems and the people, that’s when everything threaten to collapse but I have learned through experience never to let negative thoughts get to me, so I brush them aside. I’ll do a couple of deep breathing and cry a little and the sun is shining again. I thank god I am a woman because only a woman can do what I do. Work and then come back and entertain my family. My partner doesn’t have a clue on what I have to go through everyday at work. We do talk but after 5 years of living together, there are more important things to tend to. I have no complaint because he helps around the house and helps with Hannah. I thank god for giving me a kitchen friendly life partner and a very open person to live with, a considerate person to argue with and a wonderful guy to make love to. I don’t think I can stand it if I have those men who think that women are created to serve them and we have to obey everyone of their demands. He’s not like that, he is open to new ideas and he takes care of me and I love him for that but there are things about him that irritates me to the core and THAT I have lived to accept them all and it is normal when you share your life with someone.. Again because I am a woman. I have endured childbirth but I am scared or roaches and spiders. I am confident and resilient. I am a mother and only a mother would know if the child needs her. My Hannah has been sick for a couple of days now, she has the flu. She has been coughing as well. Last night or more or like this morning at 3am, I was awaken by “mummy”. I looked at her and saw her coughing. I rubbed her back and held her close to me. Then I noticed that she was breathing heavily and I got worried. I am scared that she will start weezing. I got up and grab her medicine, took the fever medicine and her coughing mixture. I woke her up but she refused to take the medicine. She kept saying that she has already taken them before and there’s no way that she’s going to take them again. But I was coaxing her to take it because I was worried. Then my partner got up and he helped to actually get Hannah to take the medicine. She took them and then I sponged her and put a wet towel on her forehead because she was burning up. Then I can hear how her breathing gradually returned to normal. The thing I couldn’t stand was that, the father had the cheeks to blame Hannah for the Ice chocolate drink HE gave her during dinner. It was because of that iced drink that she was coughing again. But for him to scold Hannah for his ignorance is uncalled for. I was worried about my baby so I sort of ignored the issue if not I would have given him a piece of my mind. He should have known better then to succumb to her every wish and command. We are adults we should know better. I know he loves Hannah to pieces but you need to be firm and say no when it’s necessary. I have always been the ‘bad person’ because I would have forced her to take her medicine even when she doesn’t want to and force her to sleep when it’s time. I would stop buying toys or books because our apartment is over flowing with them and I can do this and my baby will still love me because I am a woman, I am born to do this. I am born to work independently at work and come home to be depended upon. I know I am not perfect. There are things about me that irritate him as well. But this is my blog so I get to say what I want. The thing between men and women they are different and yet on some level they can understand each other. The only thing that he doenst understand is that why do I need to own more than 2 pair of shoes. I am woman, and I lurve….(you have to pronounce it with passion) shoes and handbags. That will be one of the many exciting and confusing things that you will never find an answer to about women. I get goo goo gaga over GUESS? Sale and I know that sooner or later I need to get a much bigger shoe cabinet and custom made cupboard for my handbags. It’s so easy to get on my good side, treat me well, listen to me, take me out to dinner and a movie once in a while and show me that you love me and I will be with you forever. I crave and can never leave without physical affection and my green salad. Once in awhile I would eat chocolate and rice just to reassure you that I am not an alien who came from a green planet and only eat green things but I am also normal like you. I do eat things of other color. I am my biggest critic. I love and hate my body. I am naughty but nice. I am beautiful inside out but you need to discover the inside part because that was what written in the box we came out from. I am strong but soft. I am determine but when things get difficult I sometime cry. I generate mix feelings to the opposite sex (love and hate at the same time) and also mix chemical reaction, somewhere between the dopemine and oxcitoxin(get it!?) but most of the time you’ll get the after effect when both chemicals collide. I am a woman but sometimes I can be a girl that needs consoling (dipujuk). I love life and live life. I can be as fierce as a tiger but as playful and harmless as a cat. I like to be pampered and I love pampering myself.-with the things that we have to go through(period pain, labor pain, menopause) , we deserve every bit of this!I am a woman , I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a mother. I play different roles but there’s only wan me! For I am a woman and hear me roar!!