Hulu cat

That’s the cafe that i hung out with the kids just now after the house hunting. I’m settling with the house on woodside street at Northcote. I’m leaving it to GOD and hopefully it’ll work out. Yeah..where was i? I went to this place called the Hulucat. It’s a Japanese cafe but the name has a malay word on it-Hulu.A really nice and comfy joint. They serve snacks and bubble tea. But nothing like the one in Malaysia. I took photos but i can't figured out how to read my micro sd car yet. Myabe Frank could help.We played cards and bingo. Which was refreshing and i actually had fun. I can mix with anyone if i want to but the longer i’m here, i’m beginning to realize that i need to be with someone my kind and my age. I have been feeling that way lately. It’s the new place and i miss Hannah and H so much. But with these 3 kids, i can sorta be myself. They still respect me as someone older but they were being themselves when they were around me and i let my guard down a bit and relax. I actually enjoyed myself. When we went home, Dot dropped by and stayed with me for awhile. She’s quite comfortable with me that she invited me to share a comforter with her. Hmm...i was a bit taken back and i told her that i just ate and i don’t think i want to lie down. No! She’s not that kindda girl.Geez! Anyway, they are nice and have been very helpful. Tomorrow i’m going to sign the contract with Frank. I’m meeting him at the sky tower at 9.30am. It nearly midnight and i’m not sleepy. Been sleeping at 1am everyday since the first day i was here. Tomorrow is Saturday and i have the whole apartment to myself. But tomorrow have to get up early since i am going to see Frank at 9.30am. Today i had lunch on the bridge, i brought some basil (it’s fresh basil and it comes in a pot like a whole mini tree and when you wanna eat them you just pluck them. Wonderful isn’t it?)and tomato salad from home and bought tuna melts at the downstairs cafe. I made a cappuccino from the pantry and had my lunch. I read two articles that my supervisor gave me and surprisingly i can concentrate fully. The ambiance of the place i was sitting and staying somehow promotes such a comfortable and clean feeling that it boosts my concentration. I received several emails from home today. I’m touched on how my friends expressed their ‘rindu’for me. I miss them a whole lot too. I wish they knew how much. Somehow i miss Alex a lot. Every time when i take pictures of myself and by myself, i ‘d think of her because that’s our trademark. Every time when i see a girl, i’d think of Hannah. The other day, i almost break down in front of this good-looking Indian muslim guy who speaks kiwi English. He’s the cashier at his father’s convenient store situated next to the apartment i’m at now. I went there to buy a phone card. Rosie advised me to buy the SuperBuzz one. SO i asked for it and then he asked me “Do you want the superbuzz international or superbuzz asia?”. That was when i nearly break down in front of him. All these decision that i have to make for myself is overwhelming. It’s too much. H has been the one who does all this. When we were in Perth, he would be the one who analyzes the charges of some 10 phone cards and through the charts that he has made, he’ll conclude the best and cheapest one to use backed up with substantial data. I for one, just don’t care for this. I took it for granted all this because H was always the one making decision about the house, where we need to stay and where would be the best place to shop and how our contract should be. Now, he’s not here, and i have to make these decisions and it’s freaking me out. I can;t decide where we should stay and which phone card to buy and what should be included in the contract. I need him here to make all that decisions for me, for us. I can’t do this on my own. What if i made the wrong ones? I can’t! At home, he’ll make most of the nitty gritty decisions involving the house, the bills, which bulb to use in the house, what to bring to New Zealand and how to pack the bags to minimize space etc. I on the hand, help with the house cleaning, i cook sometimes, wash the laundry and suggest where we should eat on our occasional Saturday night out and i chose which bags to buy. That’s it. Other decision makings are done at work. There, i can because i know my work and i’m aware and familiar with most of what i was doing and it comes naturally. By the way, work is different. I’m making decision because i know how and i’ve been trained to do just that.Here, it’s hard. So i couldn’t answer the cashier without shedding any tears, what i did was, i looked up at him, trying really hard to contain my tears. A few moments of silence.Then he asked me “where are you calling?”. I was all choked up when i said Malaysia. Then he suggested Superbuzz Asia because according to him it’s cheaper. So i took the card and fled. I walked aimlessly and called H. I talked to him for awhile and i felt a whole lot better. I guess i needed some air. I guess i’m scared. Scared of the new possibilities and experience, scared that the people i love won’t miss me anymore. Scared that i’ll never see Hannah and H soon. Scared that i’m getting comfortable of my new routine...the new place ...the idea of being alone.