You found me – I love the lyrics to this song.

I am at this juncture of my life that i don’t really know which way to go. I am not sure whether the decision that i am about to make is the right one for me. It feels right now but then i am having goose bumps right now. That’s where my family and friends come in. To help me and guide me to take the right path. I am so thankful for H, Alex, Lisa, Irene and Annie for always being my faithful all day, all weather pillars of strength, support and sensibility. H and i are much much closer than before. He has put my happiness first above all else and I am always thankful for having him in my life. He is so sweet..hehe..anyway, i’ll write about him on the next entryJ or maybe i’ll just twitter. Even Dean came out well in the friendship category by regularly keeping in touch with me and making his signature jokes.

I feel blessed and it surprised me that some new people showed up to help me at making this decision as well. My boss. Hmm..i was surprised but he trusted me and gave me his full support. I am so touched by all this. I’m even in his selected email list for all the inspirational quotes or jokes that he thinks are worth forwarding. It’s so cool having all that now. But i’m still praying that i will get all this resolved soon and start on a new journey.

Ok..talking about friendships and friends i received this email the other day from a close friend. Hmm..i consider her as my close friend. I replied the email and asked her which one am I to her? The shoe fetish friend? She didn’t answer my question but she sent me an email and asked me how i was doing and updated me on what’s going on with her. It’s freezing right now that my fingers are getting really cold and numb. Anyway, since i’’m on the roll right now, i’ll continue until i lose all feelings to my fingers and started writing something like dvhjabfdbqrermx,hfbdf! Then i’ll stop. But for now, coherent sentences are still present so i’m going to continue and present you with the email she sent me.

But wait! About the shoe fetish thing...the funny thing is that we have never gone shoe shopping but we’ve talked about shoes i think. But i know she regards me as one of her closest friends. How i know this was because we clicked and we can talked to each other. The actual milestone was when i received a call from her, i think 4 years ago and i remembered vividly where i was- in the kitchen at my in laws and it was a couple of days before Raya. She was at the lowest point in her life and she called and shared with me her sad news, we both cried and she asked me for help. I did and the rest is details.

I noticed that as we grow older is kindda hard to make friends but if we found one then we’ll click fast and we’ll be friends for many years to come. I met Alex when i started working with the new company five years ago. If i haven’t told you that, you wouldn’t have known because we looked like non-identical sisters. I know all her family members. When her sis came over the other day, i spent a couple of days with her even though back home we have met only once i think but Alex talked about her often enough that i think i know her well. Lisa , i have known since high school. She’s like a sister i never had. I know that in my pursuit to achieve my lifelong goal, i can be along her side to see her twins grow but i know that she knows that i’ll always be right there for her anytime, any day , no conditions or expiry dates to be concerned with. All she needs to do is text me.

Anyway, i have many friends back home and i miss that the most now. But with technology, i communicate through skype, YM, Gtalk and i facebook with them. So i feel closer to them even though in reality they are miles away. Then there are also those that i was close beforebut somehow the ties are weakening by distance. I know I’m important only when something bad happened in that friend’s life and i am needed as a shoulder to cry on. I guess it shows their true colours. Well I’m not perfect but i have always shown to all my friends how much they mean to me. I can be complacent sometimes but i write and call. For the last four months, the mundane consistency of my days has turned me into boring Jane. I need to spark the passion in me and make me me again. I hope the new path brings me home to me. I hope and pray to God for strength and light.

Okay...okay....hold your horses...the email...this is so cool! Have a great nippy weekend everyone!

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE
When I was little,I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,

And then I started to become a woman.

And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,

God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.

Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.

Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.

Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.

One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'

Another , 'Let's fight together,'Another , 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,

Another your shoe fetish,

Another your love for movies,

Another will be with you in your season of confusion,

Another will be your clarifier,

Another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life,

On whatever the occasion,

On whatever the day,

Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,

Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .

Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..

One from 7th grade,One from high school,

Several from the college years,

A couple from old jobs,

On some days your mother,

On some days your neighbor,

On others, your sisters,

And on some days, your daughters.